


Kiss me and let go

by kihobebe



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Boss/Employee Relationship, Cliche, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Minor Chae Hyungwon/Shin Hoseok | Wonho, Minor Lee Minhyuk/Son Hyunwoo | Shownu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 08:22:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16573031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kihobebe/pseuds/kihobebe
Summary: What Kihyun didn’t understand was why Hyungwon specifically hated him. Or, why Kihyun was the only one that Hyungwon liked to torment more than others. He had tried to find motives, find anything that would have given him a clue on why did Hyungwon act like bugging Kihyun was his only purpose in life.He got an idea one day, when he least expected it.





	Kiss me and let go

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mrtvejpes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrtvejpes/gifts).



> HAPPY BIRTHDAY TINY B I LOVE YOU A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> Am I happy with this thing??? I have no idea, but I hope you'll like it :)))  
> (If there are any mistakes, I'm sorry. At some point my brain stopped collaborating)

“Can you stop?” 

Kihyun scrunched his nose at the noises his best friend was making, his lips tightly wrapped around the plastic straw of his coffee. He was sucking on it even if the clear cup had been empty for minutes now, the dark and freezing beverage long gone in his belly. Minhyuk looked up with a challenge written all over his face, and Kihyun groaned. 

He knew that light in Minhyuk’s eyes all too well, and he hated it with a passion. It was the light Minhyuk had in his gaze that time Kihyun had told him he didn’t have the courage to ask someone as buff and handsome as Hyunwoo out, and his friend had proceeded to saunter over the other side of the room, hook his arms around Hyunwoo’s neck and kiss him until they were both out of breath. 

It would have been a rather fond memory, but then Minhyuk chose to squeeze Hyunwoo’s ass above his very tight leather pants and Kihyun had wanted to gauge his eyes out of their sockets. He wished he could remove the memory from his brain forever, but it was there, the perfect reminder that he should never give Minhyuk points to prove. 

“I can, but I won’t,” Minhyuk answered, rolling his eyes and sucking on the straw a little bit more, making obscene sounds in the process. Kihyun knew he was doing it just to rile him up, and it was all extremely effective. His best friend knew him all too well and he was, on top of all, a little shit. 

He loved Minhyuk more than anyone else, but sometimes he still wondered why. Hyunwoo laughed at them and called them soulmates, and Kihyun wondered if one’s soulmate was supposed to be that infuriating, if you were supposed to feel the urge to bang your soulmate’s head against the wall every time he opened his damn loud mouth.

“I would say I’m gonna choke you with that straw, but you’ll probably like it.”

The grin that overtook Minhyuk’s face was telling enough, and Kihyun sighed for the nth time that day. 

“Why am I your friend in the first place?” he asked, the question rhetorical and faint enough Minhyuk wasn’t supposed to hear it. He did anyway.

“Listen, it’s not my fault your boss is driving you mad and making your life a living hell. It’s not your fault either, but like. Grow up! Ignore him!” Minhyuk sucked on the finished iced coffee a little more, the melted ice reaching his mouth through the straw and making his lips shiny. 

“You’re one to talk! Like you would do that,” Kihyun said through gritted teeth, letting his head fall down onto the table with a soft thud. Laughing at his misery was what Minhyuk did best, and it was what he did in that moment too. 

“I never said you should follow my example. I’m a bad bitch. You’re wiser than me, you’re a better adult.”   
“Barely.”   
“Well, you are, at least a tiny bit. If this person wants to get a raise out of you, it’s probably just because they want you to see you snap for some reason. You should just, you know,” Minhyuk made a gesture with his hands that could mean everything and nothing, but Kihyun understood what he meant. At least he thought he did. 

“Ok, so. I should just. Let it go.”   
“Be the cold bitch you were always supposed to be,” Minhyuk agreed, tilting his head to the side like he wanted Kihyun to pick up the true meaning behind his words.

“Did you just make a Frozen reference?” Kihyun asked with disbelief clear in his voice, and Minhyuk just laughed at him, nodding his head in excitement. 

“Why am I still talking to you?”

“Cause you love me,” Minhyuk stated, like it was the most obvious thing in the entire world, and well, maybe it kinda was. Kihyun liked to say he hated everything about Minhyuk and his infuriating ways, but if there was a person in the world that loved Minhyuk just as much as Hyunwoo did, it was Kihyun for sure.

 

*

 

Letting go was easier said than done, and Kihyun had tried really hard. He had tried to let go, and he had tried so hard he found himself falling down a slippery road heading to hell. Trying to follow Minhyuk’s advice had brought him in a weird situation, a sticky one he didn’t know how to get out of. He wasn’t actually mad at the things he ended up doing to make his boss shut up, but he was sure they didn’t exactly fall under proper work ethics. 

“Kihyun, can you come over here for a second?” 

Sometimes Kihyun wondered how he still hadn’t used the strap of his camera to strangle Hyungwon to death, but then he remembered the younger man was supposedly his superior and maybe killing a coworker at their workplace wasn’t the best course of action to avoid being jailed for the rest of his life. Maybe if he lured him in a dark alley and made it look like an accident...

“It’s still hyung for you, little brat,” Kihyun whispered to no one, because Hyungwon couldn’t possibly hear him from the other side of the room, so he added, louder: “Be right there!” 

Hyungwon had the same smug expression he always had on his face whenever he had something to say about Kihyun’s pictures, and Kihyun was already boiling inside before the taller man even opened his mouth.

“This one right here,” he pointed one of his long fingers to the screen, highlighting one of the best shots Kihyun took for their next article. He was very proud of it, and obviously Hyungwon had decided to pick on it. Kihyun cursed at Minhyuk internally, just because it was the only thing he could do in that moment. 

“What about it?” the dark-haired man asked with the most polite tone he could muster. He really wanted to reach over and tangle his hand through Hyungwon’s silver strands of hair to smash his skull open against the computer monitor. Instead, he smiled. He was sure his expression was forced and awkward, but he tried his best.

“Can you make it a little bit more vibrant? It is lacking something and I really don’t understand what it is.”

Kihyun gritted his teeth, reigning his tongue in before he could blurt out the only problem with the picture was the person looking at it, and just nodded his head once before turning on his heels and getting back to his desk. He could feel Hyungwon’s eyes burning holes into his back, but he didn’t turn around to check on him. His office chair had never felt more uncomfortable than it did in that moment. He sent a quick text to Minhyuk, hoping that distracting himself with friendly banter would help him in not trying to murder his boss.

“Kihyun, are you using your phone instead of working?” Hyungwon was hovering above him from behind his work station, and Kihyun jumped up in his seat, his heart beating so fast in his chest in fear that he thought it might stop functioning any minute. The squeal that got past his lips was embarrassing enough, he didn’t need to pass out right there. He was sad to note that he almost headbutted Hyungwon in his face, but the taller man was fast enough to take a tiny step back before the back of Kihyun’s head could do permanent damage to his nose. What a pity.  

“N-no! I was just… checking the time.”

The hum leaving Hyungwon’s lips was unconvinced at best, but Kihyun didn’t really care. He promised to Minhyuk that he would have let it go, but the only thing he wanted to let go of in that moment was his patience. 

“What’s your problem with sneaking up behind people’s back? You almost gave me a heart attack,” he pointed out, turning around just a little to fix a mean stare in Hyungwon’s direction. The younger man beamed, his plump lips stretching in a teasing grin that Kihyun didn’t like at all.

“I’m supposed to keep an eye on my employees,” Hyungwon stated, but Kihyun knew it was nothing but an excuse, and he hated the way Hyungwon leaned down and peered over his shoulder at his work.

“That one I like the best,” he said, pointing at one of the pictures Kihyun hated the most. Of-fucking-course. 

“I don’t think it fits the theme of the article,” Kihyun countered, clicking on another folder to show him the best shots that he should have chosen from, the ones Kihyun had already sent in the day before. Hyungwon didn’t seem convinced, if the way he leaned even closer to give a better look at Kihyun’s screen was anything to go by. Kihyun used their new proximity to whisper in his ear: “I’m gonna slap your ass until you cry.” 

The smile didn’t leave Hyungwon’s lips, but Kihyun noticed goosebumps erupting on the skin of his neck. Triumph filled his chest, that sweet feeling he got in there whenever Hyungwon’s smug grin fell off his face and he became all pliant and obedient, all long malleable limbs and soft whimpers. 

Kihyun had tried to let go, but the only way he had found to do so was by falling into the little game Hyungwon was playing with him since day one.

“Well, Kihyun, you can’t leave the office until you finish your work,” Hyungwon pointed out, finally putting some distance between them and getting back to his full stature.

“You fucking little shit,” Kihyun whispered, and Hyungwon feigned not hearing him.

“What did you say?”

“Yes, sir. I hope you’ll be satisfied with the final result,” he smiled, all sharp teeth and even sharper cheekbones, and Hyungwon nodded before getting back to his desk. Their other coworkers were so used to their constant banter they didn’t even lift their heads from their projects.

Kihyun liked to think he was strong and in control, but he fell so easily in the stupid game of cat and mouse Hyungwon was playing with him since the first day he set foot in that office. He was supposed to work in another branch of the magazine, not the art and design section, but his chief had decided that his photos were so vibrant and he liked the way he captured details that no one else noticed too much, so he couldn’t possibly do anything else. And that’s where he met Hyungwon, the youngest editor of the office and the biggest pain in the ass Kihyun had ever encountered in his whole life, even worse than his best friend, which was telling enough. 

Hyungwon was messy in a weird way. His desk was always spotless but he left his things around the others’ work stations, making life in the department a living hell whenever he went around searching for stuff that he misplaced. Soon Kihyun noticed how more often than not the tall man left his work on Kihyun’s desk, and then went over to annoy him and bug him until he was seething, his ears red and his nostrils flaring. Hyungwon seemed to enjoy getting Kihyun angry, he enjoyed teasing him and making him raise his voice, and he was very good at doing so. The struggle for Kihyun to reign his temper was definitely bigger than the effort Hyungwon used to make him mad. 

Hyungwon was also incredibly handsome, and smart, and other nice things Kihyun couldn’t possibly detaste more. His eyes worked just fine, and so did his ears. It was easy to hear people whispering about their super hot editor and his tight, dark jeans, with his pristine shirts tucked in. Kihyun didn’t like his fashion sense, too casual for a work environment in his own opinion, but Hyungwon could get away with almost everything because he was ethereal, and beautiful and Kihyun wanted to barf. 

What Kihyun didn’t understand, and he really had tried to through the first months of working side to side with the man, was why Hyungwon specifically hated him. Or, why Kihyun was the only one that Hyungwon liked to torment more than others. He had tried to reason with Minhyuk, find motives, find anything that would have given him a clue on why did Hyungwon act like bugging Kihyun was his only purpose in life. He got an idea one day, when he least expected it. 

 

Kihyun stayed at the office until later than usual that particular night, the photoshoot he did for the Seoul fashion week needing his full attention and a very attentive editing. Hyungwon had already sent back some pictures and he didn’t want to give him any more satisfaction. His work should have been perfect before he would send it again. 

So, he stayed there until late night, and he didn’t notice the light in Hyungwon’s office being still on. He didn’t notice the noises coming from the room, too focused on the background music playing in his earphones and his screen. He didn’t notice Hyungwon sneaking upon him until the taller man popped out of nowhere in front of his desk. Kihyun shriek was so loud he could bet it was heard all the way down to the foyer of the building, from the eleventh floor they were currently at. Hyungwon just smiled at him, and Kihyun noticed immediately that something was weird.

“Are you drunk?” he asked when Hyungwon swayed forward in his place, his hands barely catching his weight on the end of Kihyun’s desk before he fell down on his face. 

“Just a tiny bit,” Hyungwon slurred, his body moving sideways and making him look like an uncooked noodle. Kihyun wriggled his nose, pinching the bridge of it within his thumb and forefinger. Beside all the things he already had to do, he was now forced to deal with a very intoxicated boss of his. What a great night.   
“What did you drink?” Kihyun asked conversationally, standing up and reaching out to steady Hyungwon’s limp body. The taller man blinked twice, as though Kihyun’s question took a moment too long to register in his brain, and then smiled again. The sigh getting past Kihyun’s lips was long and pained.    
“Just a glass of wine,” he stated, his eyes blinking in such a slow manner that made him look like a tired cat, a tiny ball of fluff needing some rest. Kihyun shook those stupid thoughts away, taking Hyungwon by his wrist to go check how much wine did the man actually drink. He found an empty bottle on top of Hyungwon’s desk, and the other had the nerves to giggle at the sight, his grin getting wider somehow. The need to smash his head against a wall grew ten times bigger inside Kihyun.

“Maybe more than one glass,” Hyungwon joked, and Kihyun tugged at his wrist until he managed to make him sit down on his chair, noticing how the tall man hadn’t any shoes on his feet.

“Where are you shoes?” Kihyun inquired, turning around to try to locate them around the office. Hyungwon seemed to notice their absence just in that moment, his plump lips forming a cute “o” shape of surprise when he realized he only had his colorful socks on. Some words tried to make their way out of his mouth, but he seemed to have forgotten how spoken language worked. His defeated stare was fixed on Kihyun, and the smaller man noticed how Hyungwon’s eyes seemed kind of liquid, like he would have started crying any minute because of some stupid shoes. 

“Where did you take them off?” Kihyun asked, trying to muster his most professional voice and not let his annoyance show. Hyungwon seemed about to cry and Kihyun didn’t want any kind of drama, he just wanted to finish his project and go home. 

“My Prada shoes…” Hyungwon murmured, his voice so small Kihyun wouldn’t have understood what he was saying if he wasn’t paying attention. 

“Where did you have them on the last time you saw them?” Kihyun tried to reason again, but to no avail. Hyungwon seemed to have decided his shoes went missing and he would never get them back, and he was already mourning their loss.

“My Prada shoes… My precious babies…”

Kihyun decided to ignore him in favour of going through Hyungwon’s space and the rest of the office, looking under desks and moving on all fours, his slacks collecting dust from the floor. The bill of the laundry was going to be all on Hyungwon. 

“Kihyun! Hyung! Please find them, I can’t live without them!”

It was the first time Hyungwon had ever called him hyung and it was only because he was drunk out of his mind and crying over designer shoes. Kihyun wanted to die. 

“Hyung!” Hyungwon wailed again, but Kihyun kept ignoring him, looking through drawers and shelves. When he had almost lost hope and was already thinking of landing his own shoes to Hyungwon to send him home, he finally found them.

“Hyungwon, what the fuck,” he stated, taking the shoes out of the photocopier and dangling them in the air. The delighted expression that overtook Hyungwon’s face was ruined by the tears finally falling down his cheeks, this time in relief. Kihyun couldn’t believe his eyes. 

He helped Hyungwon put his stupid and expensive as fuck dress shoes on and then dragged him to stand up, gathering all of their belongings before locking up the office. There was no way he would have been able to keep working that night, it was already too late. 

Kihyun dragged Hyungwon to his car and hauled him inside, asking for his address before starting the engine and driving off to Hyungwon’s home. The tall idiot fell asleep in the passenger seat, all bundled up in his big coat that was so oversized Kihyun was sure if he had tried to put it on he would have looked like a dwarf in giant’s clothes. 

The silence in the car was welcome, given that Hyungwon had sniffled and whimpered until Kihyun had promised to take him home personally instead of calling a taxi for him, and then he had curled up in the seat next to Kihyun to nap like everything was finally right in the world. He looked exactly like an overgrown kitten. 

“Hyungwon-ah, we’re here,” he called out after parking in front of his apartment building, hoping that Hyungwon would have woken up. He invaded the other man’s personal space to tug at his collar and shake him awake when he didn’t get any answers. Hyungwon blinked a couple of times, his eyes out of focus until he fixed them on Kihyun’s face and a stupid grin overtook his features, as lazy as Hyungwon looked, all soft and cozy. Kihyun wanted to punch him hard in his stupid, handsome face. 

“What a nice view to wake up to,” Hyungwon stated, and Kihyun stared at him like he had just lost his damn mind. 

“What the fuck?” 

“C’mon, come here, let me kiss you a little bit,” Hyungwon whined, actually gripping at Kihyun’s neck and trying to bring him closer. Kihyun swatted his hand away, his eyebrows knitted over his hard stare. 

“What the fuck?!” he reiterated, his hand finally gripping at Hyungwon’s grey locks as he had wanted to do for the previous three months. Kihyun used his clutch to angle Hyungwon’s head away from where he was still trying to kiss him, eliciting a moan out of Hyungwon’s throat that caught him unaware.

“What the fuck,” Kihyun eloquently stated again, as he studied Hyungwon’s face up close. His pupil were blown wide and his plump lips were shiny with saliva where he kept licking them while still looking at Kihyun like he was the most delicious dessert he had ever put his eyes upon. 

“What is wrong with you?” Kihyun asked, letting go of Hyungwon’s head to go back to his seat now that the tall man was fully awake.

“I just want to kiss you,” Hyungwon pouted, crossing his arms over his chest and fixing his gaze out of the car window. Kihyun snorted at the sight, his boss looking like a stubborn child. 

“Yeah, I don’t think that will happen anytime soon. Let me get you home.”

Kihyun managed to take Hyungwon inside his apartment, remove his shoes and coat and then tuck him into bed still fully dressed. Hyungwon had tried to remove his clothes with a teasing grin, but Kihyun had smacked him on his neck and told him to stop being a little brat. Fortunately, the taller man obeyed quietly, asking for Kihyun to bundle him up like a burrito with his blanket. Kihyun had laughed at him before complying, making sure all of Hyungwon’s long limbs were securely tucked in bed, and then left a bottle of water and a handwritten note for him on the bedside table. 

Kihyun was sure that the next day at work Hyungwon would apologize to him and tell him that he was so drunk he even found Kihyun attractive. What he didn’t expect was Hyungwon calling him into his office to thank him.

“It was nice of you,” he said, leaning back on his desk while Kihyun stood in front of him with a dumbfounded expression on his face.

“I thought you would be embarrassed,” Kihyun voiced out his doubts, but it got only a raise of eyebrows from Hyungwon. 

“Why?”   
“You tried to kiss me.”   
It was the first time Kihyun had ever seen Hyungwon blush, and he couldn’t say the sight wasn’t endearing, his round cheeks and the bridge of his nose burning up in embarrassment. 

“Do you think I wouldn’t kiss you on a sober mind?” Hyungwon asked, his face as read as a tomato even though his voice kept his usual cocky attitude.

“I find you quite hot all the time, alcohol just made me bolder,” he explained, and Kihyun couldn’t help if a loud scoff left his lips before he could reign it in. 

“You think I’m hot?” Kihyun asked in a whisper, his feet moving on their own to take him closer to Hyungwon, trapping his tall body between himself and the desk. Hyungwon stared at him. 

“You would kiss me?”

Hyungwon’s eyes moved to fix on Kihyun’s lips, and Kihyun’s mind provided him with the information that probably kissing his boss in their office wasn’t a very good idea.

“I would do many things with you and to you, even if I find your perfect I-know-it-all image so fucking irritating,” Hyungwon sneered, his blush long gone. 

“I hate your untidiness and your expensive, posh clothes.”

“I can’t stand the way you stuff your cheeks with food when you eat.”   
“I really dislike the fact that your hair is always perfectly styled even when the rest of your face looks like you just got out of bed. And I hate the way you talk,” Kihyun took a tiny step forward, almost pressing his nose against Hyungwon’s and showing his teeth at him like a feral beast would do.   
“And I hate your pointy nose.”

Hyungwon darted his tongue out to lick the tip of said nose, the light in his eyes the same they had in the car the night before when he wanted to kiss Kihyun. The shortest man planted a hand in his face, taking a step back.

“Stop being a brat.”

Hyungwon stuck his tongue out at Kihyun, the exact representation of a three-years-old. Kihyun couldn’t deny that he found it endearing, in some twisted way that he didn’t really want to think about. There was something between them, a sort of spark that Kihyun couldn’t understand. Plus, Hyungwon was tall and handsome, and Kihyun liked to have leverage over people. 

“Ok, let’s make this clear. I’m gonna fuck you, but not here and not now. And you better keep this for yourself.”

The spark in Hyungwon’s eyes ignited even more, his lips stretching in yet another cunning grin. 

“Yes, hyung,” he purred, getting closer to Kihyun. The shorter man read Hyungwon’s intentions in his eyes and fled the room at the speed of light.   
“See you later, sunbae!” he threw over his shoulder, trying to hide his victorious smile from his coworkers. 

 

And that was how everything started, Kihyun going over at Hyungwon’s place to bend him over several pieces of furniture and make him moan and scream at the top of his lungs. It was a rather interesting kind of agreement, because both of them made it clear that all they were interested in was some fun, and that they still hated each other’s guts, despite being attracted to the other. 

Minhyuk liked to say that love and hate weren’t that different, and maybe Kihyun would have agreed at that point. 

Hyungwon kept being insufferable at work, using all the tricks he knew to rile Kihyun up so that when they finally had the possibility to fuck, Kihyun was so worked up he put all his energy into thrusting into Hyungwon and make him beg for more. 

The grey-haired man seemed to love that, letting go of the perfect image he wore like an armour at the office and letting Kihyun take control. Maybe that wasn’t the type of “letting go” Minhyuk was trying to suggest, but Kihyun would take everything he could.

Aside from the fact that Hyungwon was a brat, Kihyun couldn’t deny there were some things he liked about the younger man. 

His hair, for one, was very soft and Kihyun really liked combing his fingers through it, even though his first instinct was to tighten his fist and pull at it. He discovered Hyungwon liked it more when he played with his hair gently, and so he did. 

He liked Hyungwon’s voice, especially when it was just a low, sleepy rumble after Kihyun fucked him to exhaustion. He enjoyed Hyungwon’s hands on his body, his fingers so long and pretty contrasting perfectly with Kihyun’s smaller ones. 

And his lips, so plump, so soft when Kihyun pressed his own against them. He was really fond of their shape and the way Hyungwon used them to leave cushiony kisses on Kihyun’s skin. 

He still had things about the taller man that he disliked, but they started to fade and be overnumbered by the ones he liked. It was weird. Minhyuk found it extremely weird, and extremely stupid.

“What if someone at the office finds out?” was his first question when Kihyun had finally confessed what was going on, followed by: “Is the sex good, at least?”   
“It’s so good. So, so good. You have no idea.”

Minhyuk feigned throwing up in his mouth, hiding his face in his hand and rolling his eyes at the same time. Hyunwoo, always the voice of reason, made them go back to the first question.

“Isn’t it a bit risky? What if someone in a higher position than this Hyungwon dude discovers you?” Minhyuk’s boyfriend asked, his hands occupied with a pan in which he was making fried eggs for the three of them. Kihyun had gone to their place just to talk with Minhyuk and finally get rid of the secret that was weighing on his shoulders, but the couple had insisted he stayed for brunch. He couldn’t say no to Hyunwoo cooking for them.

“I dunno, I might have been thinking only with my dick for the last two months or so,” Kihyun sighed, resting his cheek against the countertop of their kitchen island. They had such a pretty apartment, Kihyun with his tiny studio couldn’t relate. Minhyuk snorted the orange juice he was drinking through his nose and Hyunwoo just gave him a tissue like that was something it occurred more often than not. It probably was.

“I can’t believe you just admitted that,” Minhyuk laughed, sniffling the rest of the juice out of his nose and into the paper tissue.

“Well, it’s the truth. That man…”

“I hope he’s at least hot,” Minhyuk interrupted, “Because the way you talked about his annoying ass made me hate him and I’ve never even met him before. If you changed your mind he must be a model or something like that.”   
“I didn’t change my mind!” Kihyun answered, outraged by the insinuation. He still hated Hyungwon, didn’t he?

“Minhyukkie, leave him be,” Hyunwoo tried to stop his boyfriend, putting the eggs on the counter and gesturing for the other two to start eating. They didn’t need to be told twice.

“What? I’m just saying that if Kihyun is being guided by his dick there’s probably a reason. You remember Changkyun?” Minhyuk went on, his mouth full of food. The sight was disgusting but both Kihyun and Hyunwoo were used to it.

“Yeah, Min, I do remember Changkyun. How is he, by the way?” Hyunwoo asked, trying to change the topic. Kihyun knew he was slightly uncomfortable by the way he was furrowing his eyebrows while he put rice on the table. 

“Changkyun’s fine, or so he was when I last chatted with him two weeks ago. Having the time of his life in Boston,” Kihyun pouted, remembering how his ex boyfriend had dropped the bomb of him leaving for the US just a month before his departure. It had been two years ago, and Kihyun had forgiven him and kept in touch with him, because he still cared for sweet and smart Changkyunnie. 

“Well, that was a dick-oriented relationship at first too. What I’m saying is, Kihyun often thinks with his second brain.”

“My dick doesn’t have a brain, Min.”   
“That’s why whenever you make dick-oriented decisions everything goes to shit.”

Well, Kihyun couldn’t deny Minhyuk probably had a point. When he stopped using his logic and started following his sexual instincts things never went smoothly.

“What Minhyuk is trying to say, Ki, is that you should be careful,” Hyunwoo summarized, finally setting the rest of the food on the table and taking a seat next to them. “You know we care about you, we don’t want anything bad happening to you.”   
“I know,” Kihyun paused to observe Minhyuk feeding a piece of meat to his boyfriend, “And I’m grateful for having you by my side.”

“Just be careful,” Minhyuk said, and then started rambling about the fact that his birthday was coming soon and they better had something ready. Hyunwoo kept smiling at Minhyuk, his eyes two cute moon-shaped curves on his handsome face, and Kihyun couldn’t help but feel a little pang of envy in his chest. 

 

*

 

“Kihyun.”   
“What.”   
“Why do you sound out of breath? Were you masturbating?”

“I’m just late for an appointment, what do you want?”

Hyungwon had called Kihyun while he was running to get at his dentist’s on time, and he didn’t want to waste more time on the phone with him than he already did. He panted into the phone, annoyed at the unexpected call.

“I’ve got a problem. I mean, it’s not exactly a problem, but…”   
“Hyungwon, quick. I don’t have time,” Kihyun cut him off, huffing while he walked as fast as he could without actually running. He didn’t want to sweat into his clean shirt, but he felt like it was already too late.

“Could you come over after your appointment?”   
“Oh, it’s that kind of problem. Why are you being needy over the phone, didn’t you get enough orgasms yesterday?” Kihyun teased, and Hyungwon muttered something inintelligible on the other side of the line.   
“That’s not it! I just want to ask you a favor and I’d better explain the situation to your face.”

Kihyun paused before answering, bowing timidly as he entered the dentist’s waiting room and decreasing the volume of his voice.   
“Ok, ok. I think I can get there around eight, is that ok? Should I bring dinner?”

“If you want to.”   
“I’d rather eat take out than see you almost burn the kitchen another time.”   
“It was one time!”

“You were making coffee,” Kihyun reminded him, and then suggested they got Chinese. He promised he would buy spicy shrimps before hanging up.

“Was it your girlfriend?” an elderly lady sitting beside him asked, and Kihyun couldn’t help but grimace a little at the question.   
“No, just a friend of mine,” he answered, hoping that the woman wouldn’t ask anything else. 

 

It took a lot of shrimps for Hyungwon to shred his weird and out of place shyness and explain the situation to Kihyun.

“You know I asked you for a favor, right?”   
Kihyun was still eating noodles out of the take out box, his eyes trained on the food to avoid spilling it. He nodded to tell Hyungwon he was listening.

“Well, there’s this thing we’re supposed to attend next week for an article…”

“The Lee company’s auction?”

Hyungwon looked at him with wide eyes, and Kihyun rolled his own in answer.

“You know, I actually read work related e-mails.”

“Well, yeah. It’s an important event and we’re gonna need our best photographer on it, but that’s not the only reason you’re being sent there.”

“What do you mean?” Kihyun demanded, Hyungwon finally getting his full attention. The older man put his chopsticks down and turned a little in Hyungwon’s direction, zeroing his stare on him, his eyebrows furrowed. “What have you done?” 

“Nothing! I just…” Hyungwon sighed, taking another spicy shrimp in his mouth and munching on it. Kihyun doubted he even felt any flavour, he seemed too worried to taste anything properly, “It’s just that the company belongs to my ex and I might have told him that I was going there with my new boyfriend,” Hyungwon stated in a rush, words spilling out of his mouth as soon as he gulped the food down. 

“You don’t have a boyfriend, do you?” 

“That’s why I’m asking you for a favor!” 

The light sparkling in Hyungwon’s eyes didn’t sit well with Kihyun, his brain catching up with what Hyungwon was implying. 

“I’m not faking being your boyfriend,” Kihyun opposed sternly, getting back to munching on his food like he didn’t even hear what Hyungwon had just said. That was not going to happen, not now, not ever.

“Oh c’mon, hyung! Please!” 

“Why would you say such a lie in the first place?” Kihyun asked, incredulous at the show of kicked-puppy expression Hyungwon was making, his eyes wide and teary and his plump lips curled in a big, soft pout. Kihyun was stronger than that.

“I just… didn’t know what to say! He asked if I was going with someone and my tongue slipped!”   
“It slipped from ‘I’m coming with my coworker who is a photographer and fucks me sometimes’ to ‘I’m coming with my boyfriend’?” 

The question came out a bit more harsher than Kihyun had intended it to be, and he immediately regretted it as soon as Hyungwon flinched away, his eyes downcasted and his cheeks covered by a light blush. Kihyun sighed, reaching out his hand to take Hyungwon’s and squeeze it lightly. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be cruel.”

“It’s my fault. I’m stupid.”

If there was something that Kihyun would have never expected to see, was Hyungwon admitting being in the wrong and looking like someone had just stolen his favourite toy. 

“You’re not stupid, it’s just that I don’t get it. Why would you say something like that to your ex? Are you still in love with him?” 

Kihyun wasn’t that good at reading Hyungwon’s emotions, but he was sure the bashful expression on his face was telling enough of his actual feelings for his ex. He didn’t comment on it, stroking his thumb on the back of Hyungwon’s hand instead. 

“Ok, I can be your pretend boyfriend, just… Don’t blame it on me when your ex finds out.”

“You would do it?” 

Kihyun shrugged his shoulders, taking another bite of food in his mouth before giving Hyungwon a final answer. It was not like pretending to be Hyungwon’s boyfriend would have been so hard, after all he already knew enough about him to probably be a quite good fake boyfriend.

“Yeah, I will.”

Hyungwon beamed at him, his eyes sparkling in happiness and his hand squeezing back at Kihyun’s. Realizing they were still holding hands like an old married couple, Kihyun slowly let go of Hyungwon’s finger to wrap them around his box of noodles, which were already soggy and cold. 

“But you’re gonna promise me you’ll stop teasing me at the office. No more trying to fuck in the bathroom.”

“I promise!” Hyungwon enthusiastically shouted, moving up and down in his chair in excitement. Kihyun was already regretting his words. 

“And no pda. I hate touchy-feely couples.”

Hyungwon pouted a little, his eyes avoiding Kihyun’s as he finished his shrimps in silence.

“Ok, no kisses or other overly affectionate stuff. But we will need to at least hold hands to sell the lie,” he pointed out when there was no more food left for him to munch on. Kihyun sighed, already tired of the whole ordeal.   
“I’ll hold your hand but it stops there.”

“I can work with that. Do you want to watch a movie?” Hyungwon asked, standing up from the table and taking the empty boxes with him, heading to the kitchen to throw them out. Kihyun stared at his retreating back, gaping.

“What? Since when do we do movie nights?”

Hyungwon’s voice came muffled from the other room, but Kihyun was able to pick up on his words anyway, attuned to the subdued way he talked all the time.

“Since today?”

It was not like Kihyun didn’t want to watch a movie with Hyungwon. He figured that if there was someone who would stay quiet and let him enjoy the thing without making obnoxious comments like one best friend of his, it was probably Hyungwon. At the same time, Kihyun was not sure if watching a movie, comfortably cuddled up next to the taller man on the sofa, was a good idea. They didn’t do anything like that, ever. They just fucked. He figured that Hyungwon wanted to thank him for agreeing in being his fake boyfriend, but he’d rather have a blowjob than this kind of reward. 

“I actually have to see a friend,” Kihyun lied through his teeth when Hyungwon reappeared in the living room, already standing up to escape Hyungwon’s apartment as fast as he could. Guilt bubbled up in his stomach when he noticed how Hyungwon’s face fell in disappointment. 

“Oh, that’s ok. We’ll see each other tomorrow at work then.”

Kihyun was already putting his shoes on.

“Yeah, and then maybe we can have lunch together and discuss this whole fake boyfriend ordeal?” he proposed, because for some reason he couldn’t stand the sight of Hyungwon’s pouty lips. Hyungwon smiled, but it didn’t really reach his eyes. Kihyun wondered if he really still liked his ex that much.

“That’s ok, you don’t have to if you don’t want. It’s enough that you’re even agreeing to do such a stupid thing.”

“It’s no problem, really. I’ll make you pay for the food anyway,” Kihyun stated, throwing a grin over his shoulder at Hyungwon while putting his coat on. Hyungwon chuckled, waving his hand in the air like a three-years-old to bid him goodbye. 

 

*

 

Hyungwon was dressed to impress that night, and Kihyun didn’t know how to feel about it. He was in total black, from the pointy tip of his polished shoes to the collar of his shirt. The suit jacket fitting snugly on his shoulders and torso looked so expensive Kihyun was scared of even touching it. It was made in some kind of silky, dark material with lighter abstract drawings sewed on it, that matched their silver colour with Hyungwon’s hair and his bowtie. 

Kihyun got the memo: the event had a black tie dress code, so he made sure his black suit, white shirt and black tie were perfectly crisp and without a wrinkle. Yet, standing next to Hyungwon at the entrance of the room where the auction was being held, Kihyun felt a little underdressed. Maybe it was just Hyungwon’s expensive aura, or maybe the fact that he towered over Kihyun, his head held high and his gaze searching the crowd. 

Kihyun understood why Hyungwon was so overdressed when they finally met Hoseok during the night. 

“Hyungwonnie! It's a pleasure to see you,” the man said, hugging Hyungwon closer and petting his head like they were two bros meeting after a long time. Kihyun stared at them, feeling kind of out of place. 

“Ha, hyung, stop being so clingy!” Hyungwon whined, chuckling a little and escaping the shorter man's embrace, swatting at his hands trying to reach for him again. Something cold crawled its way up Kihyun's chest, setting its roots at the bottom of his throat. 

“You're always the cutest,” the man said, and then put his eyes upon Kihyun, his gaze so intense Kihyun was afraid he would be burned just by the intensity of it. 

“This one must be the infamous boyfriend! I'm Lee Hoseok,” he said, one of his hands reaching out to shake Kihyun's. 

“Yoo Kihyun.” 

Kihyun couldn't deny it, Hyungwon had good taste. Hoseok was a little taller than himself but still shorter than Hyungwon. He seemed to hit the gym quite often, given the way his biceps and shoulders looked in his burgundy suit jacket, but even if his body seemed sculpted by gods his face looked soft, young even. He had pretty lips and even prettier eyes. When he smiled at Hyungwon, Kihyun felt a pang in his chest that he couldn't quite place. Hyungwon reached out to hold his hand, intertwining their fingers, and Kihyun suddenly remembered the lie they were trying to sell. 

“When you told me you got a boyfriend you forgot to mention the fact that he was so handsome!” Hoseok stated, his eyes sparkling under the neon lights. Kihyun wondered if he was teasing or if it was a sincere compliment. 

“Well, he's mine anyway. Keep your ugly claws away from him,” Hyungwon sneaked his arm around Kihyun's shoulders, bringing him closer to his side, and Kihyun didn't know how to feel about that either. He laughed a little, trying to look relaxed under Hoseok's attentive gaze. 

“His claws seem everything but ugly to me,” Kihyun commented, letting Hyungwon bring him closer to his body, and he even went as far as reaching his arm behind Hyungwon's back to reciprocate the hug. Hyungwon gave him a side glance but didn't make any comment, probably scared of being uncovered by his ex. Kihyun wondered if Hyungwon's plan of making the older man jealous was working, because in that moment Hoseok just seemed entertained. 

“Thank you Kihyun-ssi, I take good care of my claws,” Hoseok polished his nails over the lapel of his surely expensive jacket. Burgundy suited him, Kihyun couldn't help but notice, it contrasted perfectly with his black hair and shirt. For a moment, Kihyun wondered why did him and Hyungwon break up when they seemed to be on such friendly terms, but then he felt Hyungwon's fingers pinch his side and he realized he was staring and he didn't hear anything Hoseok had just said. 

“I'm sorry, I got distracted for a second there,” Kihyun grinned a little in embarrassment, scratching his head at the same time with his free hand. Hyungwon squeezed him a little tighter.

“I was just asking if you two met at work,” Hoseok politely repeated, the smile curling up the corner of his lips looking nothing but sincere. 

“Ha, yeah. Hyungwon is kind of my boss,” Kihyun stated, smiling at the grimace that appeared on Hyungwon’s handsome face. The chuckle that left Hoseok’s mouth was as endearing as the man himself, and Kihyun wondered again why did the two of them part ways in the first place. They seemed fond of each other, and if Hoseok was the one that dumped Hyungwon he wondered why he seemed to be so enamoured with the taller man.

“I see, that’s very cute. I’m sure you’re coworkers are less than enthusiast. I know how handsy Hyungwon can get,” Hoseok winked at Kihyun, and the shorter man was sure he heard Hyungwon grit his teeth.

“Yeah, he’s just like that, handsy all the time. Right, sweetie?” Kihyun improvised, because it seemed that Hoseok wasn’t buying their well-crafted lie. Hyungwon whipped his head in Kihyun’s direction with maybe too much force. 

“It’s just because you’re always so pretty, I can’t keep my eyes and hands off you,” Hyungwon purred, his acting so convincing even Kihyun believed him for a second. Hyungwon’s eyes were alight with something Kihyun couldn’t decipher, so he improvised some more. 

“He’s a feisty one, you know?” he told Hoseok, lightly slapping Hyungwon’s ass to bring the situation in a less awkward mood. Hoseok kept looking extremely amused by the whole interaction.

“Oh, I know well,” Hoseok smiled again, sending a knowing look at Hyungwon and then checking the time on his wristwatch. His eyebrows knitted, and he informed them that he was running late, telling them to enjoy the rest of the night.

“I hope you’ll be able to take amazing pictures, Kihyun-ssi,” he said with politeness lacing his tone, and then he directed his next words at Hyungwon: “Stop being a coward, you idiot.”

Kihyun watching Hoseok’s retreating back in awe, waiting for him to disappear from view before letting go of Hyungwon’s body. 

“What did that mean?” Kihyun asked, suspicious of the way Hyungwon was avoiding his eyes.

“Nothing, it’s an old story. Not worth mentioning. Do you want some shrimps?” he asked, already following a tray of seafood being brought around by a waiter dressed in all white. 

 

Kihyun drank too much that night. He wasn’t sure what triggered his need to annihilate his loud thoughts, maybe the way Hoseok had smiled like he knew some secrets, maybe the way Hyungwon had looked at his ex with something in his eyes Kihyun couldn’t understand. Maybe he was bitter, maybe he just needed to let go, once and for all. 

Hyungwon had to drive him home, the expression on his face sour and tired. Kihyun poked his finger into Hyungwon’s cheek while the taller man had his eyes fixed on the road ahead.

“Why aren’t you smiling? I think we made a great performance tonight,” Kihyun said, his words a little slurred and mashed together. Hyungwon shook his head, not giving him an answer, and Kihyun kept prodding at the soft flesh of his face, his cheek round and pink where Kihyun was touching it.

“Hoseok seems like a good man. Why did you guys break up?”

“Do you really care?” Hyungwon asked through gritted teeth, and Kihyun couldn’t really understand why he was so pissed all of a sudden. 

“Are you angry at me for drinking?” he demanded back, unsure of how to feel when Hyungwon just shook his head in answer.   
“Are you sad after seeing Hoseok again?” 

“Can we stop mentioning Hoseok-hyung?” Hyungwon sounded as tired as he looked. Kihyun stopped talking altogether, his eyes fixing on the view outside of the car instead of insisting with Hyungwon. He sighed, bringing the lapels of his coat closer to his face and burying his face in it, annoyed and a little bummed by the way Hyungwon seemed so out of touch. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to sound rude. I just don’t want to talk about Hoseok anymore.”

“Ok.”

Hyungwon threw a quick glance at Kihyun and then asked him if he was cold. Kihyun answered with a curt ‘no’. 

When they finally got to Kihyun’s tiny apartment, the brown-haired man had almost completely sobered up, his giggly humor long lost during the car ride. He felt uncomfortable with the way Hyungwon’s eyes kept following him, like if he was waiting for Kihyun to say something. Instead, Kihyun bid him a quick goodbye and opened the car door to escape as quickly as he could.

“Can I come over for a minute?” Hyungwon asked before Kihyun could make more than a step outside. Kihyun thought of telling him he was not in the mood for sex, but maybe an angry, bitter fuck would get those weird feelings out of him. He shrugged his shoulders, waiting for Hyungwon to follow before leading the way. 

Kihyun realized upon entering his home that Hyungwon had never been there before. He gave him a quick tour, pointing out things without much enthusiasm. After Hyungwon removed his shoes, Kihyun was already trying to get him naked, approaching him slowly and removing his coat and suit jacket with deft fingers.

“Hyung, I’m not here to have sex,” he said when Kihyun’s hands tried to remove his silver bowtie. Hyungwon stopped him, reaching out to trap his wrists.

“Why not? You’re still thinking of your ex?” Kihyun pouted a little, his words maybe a little too blunt and sharp. The sigh that escaped Hyungwon’s lips was telling enough for Kihyun.

“You know, I can fuck you in the dark. You can pretend that it’s him.”

“Oh my god Kihyun, why would you say something so fucked up!” Hyungwon looked at him with an horrified expression on his face, letting go of Kihyun’s hands to bring one of his to his face, massaging his temples.

“What? I thought that was what you wanted. To get him back,” Kihyun frowned some more, his eyebrows drawn together and his eyes fixed on Hyungwon’s face, trying to decipher his feelings. The younger man seemed in distress, and Kihyun didn’t know how to act.

“You don’t even care about what I want,” Hyungwon pointed out, crossing his arms over his chest and taking a step back, putting some space between them. 

“Sure I do. I care about what makes you happy, too.”   
“Do you? Then kiss me.”

“What?” 

Kihyun stared at Hyungwon, his stance mirroring the one of the taller man. Both stayed silent for a moment, until Hyungwon spoke again, this time with some softness seeping into his voice.

“I want to be kissed. You never kiss me before sex, you just do it when we’re both exhausted and I think you’re scared of letting your guard down. Just kiss me, here and now.”

“What are you blabbering on about. I don’t kiss you because that’s not…”

“Appropriate? So, you can bury your dick in my ass but you can’t just give me an innocent peck?”

Kihyun wanted to say something, he really did, but maybe Hyungwon had a point. Maybe Kihyun never kissed him because he was scared of doing things that would make him feel, make him realize that he really liked Hyungwon more than he should have. 

“Ok, I’m gonna kiss you,” he said, as if he wanted to give Hyungwon a heads up, leave him the possibility to move aside or stop Kihyun with a laugh and a ‘you really fell for that.’ Instead Hyungwon just stared at him, gaze fierce and mouth in a pout. Kihyun really liked his mouth, the way his lips curled around words and moans, but he had never said that out loud. 

“Your lips are so pretty,” he stated that night, taking a step forward to close the space between them. He looped one of his fingers under Hyungwon’s belt and brought him even closer, looking at him through his lashes when they were only a breath apart. He had to crane his neck to fix his eyes upon Hyungwon’s, and he’d never noticed before how much he liked that, too. 

“Do you like that?” Kihyun asked in a whisper, and Hyungwon’s confused expression made him giggle a little. He put his arms around Hyungwon’s neck and brought their faces closer together.

“When I compliment you, do you like that?”

“Yeah,” Hyungwon answered in a breathy murmur, his gaze slipping down the slope of Kihyun’s nose to fix on his lips.

“I really like your hair,” Kihyun said, combing his finger through it and tugging at it to make Hyungwon bend his head backwards. The groan Hyungwon emitted when Kihyun licked a wet stripe down his neck made the shorter man shudder, his next words coming out in a shaky exhale.

“I also like the way you moan,” he mumbled against Hyungwon’s skin, biting a bruise in the juncture between his neck and shoulder. Hyungwon’s hands found their way below Kihyun’s jacket and shirt, lightly scratching at Kihyun’s back while the older man kept sucking on his collarbone. The breaths leaving Hyungwon’s chest were troubled, and Kihyun really liked the sound of that. He used his hand, still in Hyungwon’s silver hair, to bring his head down and peck his lips softly. 

“I really love the way you whisper my name when you’re about to come,” Kihyun spoke the words over Hyungwon’s mouth, his teeth sinking into Hyungwon’s bottom lip. Hyungwon gasped, giving Kihyun the perfect opportunity to slide his tongue against Hyungwon’s and kiss him properly. The taste of the expensive champagne Hoseok had offered them lingered in both of their mouths, no matter how hard Kihyun tried to wipe it away from Hyungwon’s lips. Hyungwon sighed into the kiss, his hands slowly moving towards Kihyun hips and finding purchase there, bringing their bodies even closer. He left a peck on the tip of Kihyun’s nose that made Kihyun’s breath itch in his throat, but before he could question it Hyungwon went back to properly kiss Kihyun, his cushiony mouth pressing against Kihyun’s softly, his teeth dragging over Kihyun’s bottom lip before sucking on it. Kihyun could feel the last residues of alcohol in his blood evaporate like snow under the scorching sun, his mind clearing up and his senses becoming sharper, no more fuzziness to his sight. He could smell Hyungwon’s expensive cologne when he nosed at the taller man’s neck, leaving tiny bites in his wake. 

“Was it so hard?”

“I don’t know, but now it definitely is,” Kihyun rolled his hips against Hyungwon’s, and the other man had the audacity to laugh at him.

“You’re such a little shit,” he commented, taking a step back and studying Kihyun’s face like it was an extremely difficult puzzle he needed to solve.    
“You are the little shit in this relationship,” Kihyun reminded him, the apples of his cheeks covered by a hot blush. He didn’t know why he felt like blushing, but Hyungwon’s intense gaze was probably the main culprit.  

“Oh, so now it’s a relationship? Amazing,” Hyungwon scoffed, putting even more space between them and sagging against the entrance door. The expression on his face was unreadable, and Kihyun was once again at a loss for words.

“I mean, any type of interaction between two human beings could be considered a relationship.”

Kihyun realized he had said the wrong thing when Hyungwon started to chuckle, no amusement in the sounds he was making.

“Wow, I’m impressed. You’re really making this even worse.”

“Hyungwon, I don’t understand. What is this? What are you talking about?”

There was a crease between Hyungwon’s eyebrows that told Kihyun he was thinking, choosing the right words. Kihyun let him, standing in silence and observing the shifting emotions appearing on his face.

“You know, I thought you were simply oblivious,” Hyungwon started, and Kihyun opened his mouth to protest. The grey-haired man raised a hand to silence him, “ But I don’t think that anymore. I just read too much into things.”   
“What kind of things?” Kihyun asked before he could stop himself. 

“You sleeping over and making breakfast, asking me out for lunch, making sure I’m always comfortable and that you’re not hurting me. Taking care of me like you cared.”

“I’m not a monster, you know. It’s basic human kindness.”

“I see that now,” Hyungwon sighed, turning around to put his shoes on again, “I’d better go, it’s getting late and you need to rest.”

“Hyungwon-ah,” Kihyun called out, his voice coming out in a strangled whisper. He didn’t know what was happening, but the way Hyungwon looked at him, with sadness evident in his eyes, made something bubble up in his throat. He suddenly felt like an invisible hand was pressuring his airways, making it hard to breathe.

“What?” 

“What were you trying to say?” Kihyun ached to touch Hyungwon, to cup his round cheeks in his palms and tell him that everything was going to be ok, they were going to be fine. The corners of Hyungwon’s lips turned down in a sour grimace.

“I don’t think you would be happy to hear what I have to say,” he stated, still frozen at the entrance of Kihyun’s apartment. He seemed torn between the need to escape and the one to empty the contents of his stomach on the floor, his face looking paler by the minute. 

“Try me,” Kihyun shrugged, letting his body follow its instincts and getting closer to Hyungwon. The man looked like a scared kitten, his hair ruffled and his eyes wide. Kihyun took some tentative steps towards him, reaching out for his hand and guiding him back inside the apartment, making him sit on the couch and not letting go of his hand.

“I lied to you,” Hyungwon blurted, his gaze fixed on their interlocked fingers. Kihyun squeezed them tighter to encourage him in going on.

“Hoseok is my ex, but he’s also my best friend. He knows everything about you, and he’s the one that suggested the fake dating thing,” Hyungwon paused, looking briefly at Kihyun to see his reaction. Kihyun stayed silent, his mind trying to elaborate.

“It’s my fault, I told him I was trying to understand if you were really interested in me or if you just were here for the sex. I guess I got my final answer tonight.” 

Hyungwon tried to take his hand back from Kihyun’s grip, but the brown-haired man held it tighter.

“What do you mean if I were really interested in you? I told you, I care about what you want and what makes you happy.”

“Yeah, well. You don’t care the same way I do.”

“I lost you again,” Kihyun said, his words eliciting a short chuckle out of Hyungwon.

“You’re really oblivious, after all. I like you, Kihyun. As in, I would like you to be my real boyfriend. I know that you don’t feel the same way and it’s ok if you want to…”

“Shut up for a second.”

Kihyun let go of Hyungwon to put his head in both his hands, clutching at his skull like he was trying to rip it apart. 

“I need to… process.”

Hyungwon kept quiet, curling up in a ball on Kihyun’s sofa, his arms hugging his knees and his chin resting on top of his knees. Kihyun stood up to pace around in his living room. 

When he stopped abruptly and started talking, Hyungwon jumped up in surprise.

“It’s not true,” he said, and Hyungwon looked at him like he had just lost his mind.

“What? That I like you? I can assure you that it is.”   
“No, that I don’t like you back. That’s not true. I do like you, I think? I just… Never really thought about it. We fuck, it is good, you’re cute and funny and I want to take care of you.”

The way Hyungwon was looking at him, with his eyes wide open and his mouth hanging was quite comical, but Kihyun tried to suppress the laugh trying to escape his lips to go on.

“You know, you’re funny. You’re handsome, and smart, and you’re maybe the best sex partner I’ve ever had. But since this thing between us started as a no strings attached arrangement, I never really stopped to analyze my feelings. And I thought you hated me!”

“I’ve never hated you,” Hyungwon whispered, “I’ve always liked you.”

“You have a very weird way of showing you like someone,” Kihyun joked, Hyungwon’s face becoming a nice shade of neon pink. Taking some steps towards the couch, Kihyun sat on it, his legs tucked under himself and a little smile pulling at his lips.

“So, tonight you were trying to make me jealous? That was the plan with Hoseok?”

The tiny nod Hyungwon gave him made Kihyun’s heart beat a little louder in his chest. He was so cute, all curled up on himself even if he was so tall and broad.

“Maybe it worked a little. I mean, I don’t know, I wanted to drink because I felt weird.”   
“Wow hyung, you’re really in touch with your feelings.”   
“Shut up.”

Kihyun reached his hands towards Hyungwon’s face, squishing his cheeks together. Hyungwon stared at him and frowned.    
“What are you doing?” he asked, his words coming out cutely distorted. The grin taking over Kihyun’s face was wide and sharp.

“I’ve wanted to touch your soft cheeks for days now. Look at you, all squishy. A baby.”

Hyungwon jutted his lips in a pout and Kihyun cooed at him, bringing their faces close together to peck him softly.

“I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that I didn’t care about you or your feelings,” Kihyun whispered against Hyungwon’s lips, and then kissed him some more when Hyungwon beamed at him, his eyes sparkling in happiness.

“It’s ok.”   
“It is not. I do care, that’s why I did all those things like bringing you home when you were drunk and tucking you in bed when I left, or giving you kisses in the mornings when you were still asleep in my arms after a wild night of sex.”

The incredulous expression painted on Hyungwon’s face made Kihyun realize just how stupid he had been.

“Wow, I’m really oblivious. I’m sorry, Hyungwon-ah.”

“It’s really ok, you know. I’m just glad that this thing between us isn’t over.”

Kihyun caressed Hyungwon’s cheek, slowly moving his hands from his face to the back of his neck, bringing him closer again to kiss him softly and ask for forgiveness once again. Hyungwon uncurled from his position, his hands finding their place below Kihyun’s shirt and caressing his skin slowly, pressing at the small of Kihyun’s back and bringing him closer, until Kihyun was sitting in Hyungwon’s lap and both of them were panting, their hair messy and their lips shiny with saliva. 

“Do you want to stay over and watch a movie?” Kihyun asked, and Hyungwon kissed him instead of answering, slotting his mouth over Kihyun’s and pressing a peck into his lips. He licked his way into Kihyun’s mouth, slowly but surely, groaning when Kihyun bit on his bottom lip and sliding their clothed dicks together. 

“I would love to,” Hyungwon whispered, out of breath. Kihyun started undoing Hyungwon’s bowtie, stealing a giggle out of him.   
“What are you doing? Aren’t we watching something?”   
“Yes, but you’re not gonna sit on my sofa looking like a model dressed in your posh clothes while watching a stupid comedy. In this house we have a no pants on the sofa rule.”

“Ha, I see. Let’s get comfortable, then.”

 

*

 

“Are those flowers?” Kihyun asked, shocked by the big bouquet Hyungwon was holding in his hands. His boyfriend smiled, the wide grin Kihyun had grown to love over time, and he thrusted the colorful flowers into Kihyun’s hands.

“They’re your flowers!” Hyungwon bowed his head down to smooch Kihyun quickly before entering his apartment, leaving his shoes and coat at the door. Kihyun stared at the roses in his hands, shocked by their beauty.

“You didn’t have to,” he whined when he finally realized Hyungwon had really gifted him a bouquet made up of beautiful red roses. Maybe it was clichè, but Kihyun couldn’t help but appreciate the gesture.

“It’s not even my birthday! We’re celebrating early, you know?”

“I know,” Hyungwon gave him another kiss to shut him up, but Kihyun pushed him away before he could squash the flowers between their bodies.

“Thank you.”   
“It’s nothing. I have like other fifteen surprises ready.”   
“You better not,” Kihyun said, while he put the roses in a vase with water and placed them in the middle of the kitchen table, which was already set for their dinner. Kihyun twirled around and throw himself at Hyungwon, kissing him properly now that his hands were free. Hyungwon catched him like he had been doing for a year or so, his arms around Kihyun’s torso.

“I better do. It’s your birthday, it’s important.”   
“You know what I want for my birthday?” Kihyun asked, cheeky, while he slid his hands down Hyungwon’s pants to squeeze his ass.

“Shouldn’t we have dinner first?”

“I didn’t cook. We’re gonna order pizza as soon as I’m done eating you,” Kihyun joked, pushing Hyungwon towards his couch and unbuckling his belt at the same time. Hyungwon giggled, letting Kihyun lead him where he wanted to, removing his jeans on the way to the sofa. Kihyun pushed him down to seat, and then removed Hyungwon’s underwear and kneeled between his legs.

“Have I have ever told you that I love your dick?” Kihyun asked, looking up at Hyungwon to take in his flushed cheeks and beautiful, sparkly eyes.

“Only once today,” Hyungwon answered, and then gasped loudly when Kihyun put his lips around the tip of said dick, sucking on it slowly. If there was something Kihyun liked to do, was sit between Hyungwon’s legs and suck his brain out of his cock, looking up at him through his lashes while Hyungwon lost his mind. Kihyun darted his tongue out to lick his way down Hyungwon’s length, one of his hand keeping his thighs open when he tried to close them around Kihyun’s face out of reflex. He moaned loudly, cursing at Kihyun’s skilled mouth, but Kihyun just hummed after taking all of his dick into his mouth, going as far as to hit the point that triggered his gag reflex. Hyungwon cursed again.

“I love you so fucking much, you and that damned tongue of yours,” he breathed out, and Kihyun used said tongue to lick all his way down from the tip of his cock, to his balls, and then to his hole. Hyungwon’s breath got stuck into his throat. 

“I love you too,” Kihyun bit the inside of Hyungwon’s thigh, his fingers lacing at the base of Hyungwon’s dick to pump it slowly. Hyungwon reached out to drag him upwards, kissing him nice and slow until Kihyun forgot even his own name. He sat in Hyungwon’s lap, still fully clothed, and the taller man whined when he realized he couldn’t rub their dicks together because of Kihyun’s sweatpants.   
“Get naked, birthday boy,” he commanded, and Kihyun was more than glad to comply, making a little show out of throwing his pants and shirt behind his back. The intense gaze Hyungwon was giving him made a shiver run down Kihyun’s spine.

“You’re so handsome.”   
“No, you are,” Kihyun countered, climbing again on Hyungwon’s lap and putting his arms around his neck.

“You’re the most handsome when you’re sitting right here with me, no clothes on, no make up on. Just you,” Kihyun said, and Hyungwon’s eyes sparkled with so much adoration Kihyun was sure his heart skipped a beat. 

Hyungwon kissed him again, tugging on Kihyun’s bottom lip until he opened up his mouth to let him slide their tongues together, their teeth clacking together uncomfortably at some point. Hyungwon’s giggle was stole from his lips by Kihyun’s. 

“You know what would be a nice gift? If you fingered yourself for me,” Kihyun murmured against Hyungwon’s jaw, and Hyungwon didn’t need to be told twice, his hands already searching for the lube he knew Kihyun had stored somewhere in the drawer of his coffee table. 

He made sure Kihyun was watching before kneeling on the sofa and letting one of his long fingers slide inside himself, stretching himself open for Kihyun nice and slow. The older man couldn’t take his eyes off him, his attention focused on the way Hyungwon was breathing heavily, whining and moaning.

“You’re so good for me, baby,” he said when Hyungwon hesitated before using three fingers, and the taller man whimpered in pleasure at the praise, hiding his face in the sofa cushion to cover his blush. Kihyun decided it was time to take over, caressing Hyungwon’s butt with love before spanking him lightly. Hyungwon whimpered again.

Kihyun made sure Hyungwon was in a comfortable position before rolling a condom and then slowly pushing inside Hyungwon, while he tugged gently at his recently dyed pink hair. Hyungwon’s groans were so low in pitch Kihyun felt them all in his dick. He admired the way Hyungwon’s ass took his cock, palming at Hyungwon’s ass cheeks with his fingers. 

“Move those hips, little brat,” Hyungwon called out, and Kihyun couldn’t help but giggle a little, leaving a peck at the base of Hyungwon’s neck before he started moving, snapping his hips slowly just to tease his boyfriend.   
“Faster,” Hyungwon asked, and who was Kihyun to deny him. He bit down on Hyungwon’s shoulder, making him moan when he hit the perfect spot inside him. Kihyun felt a shiver run down Hyungwon's body. He reached a hand around Hyungwon to stroke his dick, matching his pace to the movements of his hips, and with a couple more thrust Hyungwon was staining Kihyun’s couch with his cum.

“Shit,” he said, another full body shiver wrecking his body while Kihyun reached his orgasm too, a low whine escaping his lips. He let himself fall over Hyungwon’s back, kissing the top of his pink head.

“Oh my god,” Hyungwon whispered, his legs trembling without him realizing it. Kihyun made him move before he got a cramp, laughing at the way his noodle limbs seemed to be made of jelly. They cuddled up on the sofa, Hyungwon curled up around Kihyun like a protective kitten, back hugging him and resting his chin over Kihyun's shoulder.

“Wow, this was one good birthday present,” Kihyun commented, and Hyungwon chuckled against his skin, burying his nose against Kihyun’s neck in search for warmth. 

“I’m glad you liked it. I have another one.”   
“What is it?” Kihyun asked, turning around to fix his eyes in Hyungwon’s. The smile on his face was so bright and beautiful Kihyun felt butterflies erupt in his chest, his own lips curling up at the sight of his boyfriend being so happy.

“I love you,” Hyungwon said, kissing the tip of Kihyun’s nose, “You and your stupidly pointy nose.”

“I’m glad I discovered I love you, too,” Kihyun told him, and Hyungwon let out the most beautiful laugh Kihyun had ever heard in his whole life.

“You and your extremely cute, perfectly styled, pink hair.”  
  


 

**Author's Note:**

> As usual, you can come scream at me on [tumblr](http://kihobebe.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/kihoxbebe/) or [curios cat](https://curiouscat.me/kihoxbebe) :3


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